Abanye abantu bayatlhala banethemba lokwenza ipilwabo ibe ngcono, kuthi abanye bafuna ukuhlala batjhadile kodwana bangeze benza abalingani babo bahlale. Nokho, pheze boke abatlhalileko bafumana bona ipilo ngemva kwalokho iba budisi khulu kunangendlela ebebalindele ngayo. Eqinisweni, nengabe akusikade utlhalile, ungafumana bona sikhathi esigandelela khulu okhe waqalana naso. Ngalokho, kuzokusiza ukufunda ngezinye iinluleko ezisebenzako eziseBhayibhelini esingakusiza uqalane neentjhijilo zokutlhala ngokuphumelelako.

Ukugandeleleka okubangelwa miraro yemali, ukuba mbelethi, nesizungu kungaba namandla begodu amazizo anjalo akasuki msinyana. Udorhodere wengqondo ongasekho uJudith Wallerstein wafumana bona ngemva kweminyaka batlhalile, abanye basazizwa bakhohlisiwe begodu batjhiyiwe, bakholelwa bona “ukuphila akunaqiniso, kuyadanisa begodu kunesizungu.”

ONGAKWENZA

• Ukulilela lokho okulahlekileko. Ungamkhumbula ogade utjhade naye osamthandako. Ngitjho nanyana ubuhlobo bakho bebungathabisi, ungalila ngombana khenge ube nethabo ebewunethemba lokuba nalo emtjhadweni. (IzAga 5:18) Ungabi namahloni wokubekela “isikhathi sokulila” eqadi.​—UmTjhumayeli 3:1, 4.

• Balekela ukuzihlukanisa. Newutlhoga isikhathi sokuba wedwa bona ulile, akusikuhlakanipha ukuzihlukanisa khulu. (IzAga 18:1) Newucoca nabangani bakho sebenzisa ikulumo eyakhako, njengombana ukunghonghoyila qobe ngaloyo ebewutjhade naye, ngitjho nanyana kufaneleka, kungatjhidisela abanye kude. Nengabe kufuze wenze iinqunto eziqakathekileko msinyana ngemva kokutlhala, fumana isizo elifanelekako emntwini omthembako.

• Tlhogomela ipilwakho. Ukugandeleleka okubangelwa kutlhala ngokujayelekileko kubangela imiraro yepilo, ukuphakama komfutho weengazi, ukuphathwa yihloko ebuhlungu. Idla kuhle, thabulula umzimba begodu ulale ngokwaneleko.​—Efesu 5:29.

• Susa izinto ezibangela bona ukwatele ogade utjhade naye nofana ongazitlhogiko, kodwana bulunga amaphepha aqakathekileko. Nangabe izinto ezinjengeenthombe zomtjhado zikuzwisa ubuhlungu, zibeke ebhoksini uzibulungele abantwana bakho.

• Yilwa nemicabango emimbi. U-Olga, owatlhala indodakwakhe ngemva kokuphinga, wathi: “Bengizibuza, ‘Khuyini anayo enginganayo?’” Nokho, ngokukhamba kwesikhathi u-Olga walemuka bona ukubuyelela imicabango emimbi kungabangela “umphefumulo oqobekileko.”​—IzAga 18:14.

  Abantu abanengi bafumana bona ukutlola phasi lokho abakucabangako kubasiza babone begodu balawule imicabangwabo. Nawenza lokhu, linga ukuba nomcabango omutjha omuhle bona ujamiselele umcabango omumbi olwisana nawo. (Efesu 4:23) Cabanga ngeembonelo eembili:

  Omdala: Ukungathembeki komlinganami mtjhaphwami.

  Omutjha: Imitjhaphwami ayinikeli umlinganami ilungelo lokungathembeki kimi.

  Omdala: Ngimotjhe iminyakami emihle nendoda engakalungi.

  Omutjha: Ngizokuthaba nengiragela phambili ngepilo, ngingabuyeli emva.

• Dlulisa iinkulumo ezingakhiko. Abangani abakufisela okuhle neenhlobo bangatjho izinto ezizwisa ubuhlungu nofana ezingasiliqiniso ngawe: ‘Bekangakakufaneli,’ nofana ‘uZimu uyakuhloya ukutlhala.’ b Ngebanga elihle iBhayibheli iyaluleka: “Ungathatheli ehloko woke amezwi akhulunywa babantu.” (UmTjhumayeli 7:21) UMartina, oneminyaka emibili atlhalile, uthi: “Kunokobana ngihlale emezwini angakhiko, ngilinga ukuqala izinto ngombono kaZimu. Imicabangwakhe iphakeme kuneyethu.”​—Isaya 55:8, 9.

• Thandaza kuZimu. Ukhuthaza abakhulekeli bakhe bona ‘bafumbele woke amatshwenyeko wabo kuye,’ khulukhulu nebagandeleleke khulu.​—1 Pitrosi 5:7.

UJuliana, obekatjhade iminyaka eli-11 uthi: “Ngayirabhela indodakwami bona ingakhambi. Nokho, ngemva kokobana ikhambile ngayikwatela nomma ahlala nayo.” Abanengi abatlhalako basolo bakwatele egade batjhade nabo iminyaka eminengi. Nanyana kunjalo, bakatelelekile bona bakhulume qobe, khulukhulu nengabe banabantwana. 

ONGAKWENZA

• Bulunga ubuhlobo obuhle naloyo ogade utjhade naye. Dzimelela eendabeni eziqakathekileko, ungakhulumi khulu begodu hlala endabeni. Abanengi bafumane bona indlela le inomthelela ekubeni nokuthula.​—Roma 12:18.

• Balekela ikulumo elimazako. Khulukhulu newuzizwa ukwatile, isiluleko seBhayibheli esihlakaniphileko sithi: “Owazi ilwazi ulonda amezwakhe.” (IzAga 17:27) Nangabe ngeze wakghona ukulawula ingcoco engakhiko, ungathi: “Ngitlhoga ukucabanga ngalokho okutjhwileko begodu ngizokukhuluma nawe ngokukhamba kwesikhathi.”

• Hlukanisani izinto zenu naloyo ogade utjhade naye ngendlela ongakghona ngayo, kuhlanganise zomthetho, zeemali namarekhodi wezokulapha.

UMaria uyakhumbula bona gade kunjani ngemva kokutlhala: “Indodakazami encani beyilila ngaso soke isikhathi yathoma ukuthundela umbhede godu. Ngitjho nanyana indodakazami ekulu beyilinga ukufihla amazizwayo, bengilibona itjhentjho nakiyo.” Ngokudanisako, ungazizwa ngasuthi awunasikhathi namtjhana amandla wokusiza abantwabakho lokha nebakutlhoga khulu.

ONGAKWENZA

• Khuthaza abantwabakho bona bakhulume nawe ngamazizwabo, ngitjho nanyana lokho kubonakala kubangela ‘ukukhuluma ngehliziyo ebuhlungu.’​—Jobho 6:2, 3.

• Bulunga indima efaneleko. Nawusafuna isekelo elingokwamazizo umntwanakho angazimisela ukukunikela lona kodwana akukalungi begodu akusikuhle ukubawa umntwana bona asize ngemiraro yabantu abadala. (1 Korinte 13:11) Lisa ukwenza umntwanakho umngani namtjhana abe mlamuli nofana isithunywa hlangana kwakho nogade utjhade naye.

• Bulunga ukuphila komntwanakho kwakheke kuhle. Ukuhlala ninoke ngendlini nokuba nehlelo kuyasiza, kodwana okuqakatheke khulu kukuba nehlelo laqobe lezinto ezingokomoya, kuhlanganise ukufundwa kweBhayibheli nokukhulekela komndeni.​—Duteronomi 6:6-9.

Ungaragela phambili nepilo ngemva kokutlhala. UMelissa obekatjhade iminyaka eli-16, uthi “Nangitlhalako, ngacabanga, ‘Akusingendlela ebengifuna ipilo yami ibengakho.’” Nokho okwanje ufumane ukwaneliseka naphezu kubujamo. Uthi, “Nangithoma ukulisa ukulinga ukutjhugulula okwadlulako, ngazizwa ngcono khulu.”