Nindakazyalwa mu 1960 bamaama bakajisi myaka iili 17 yakuzyalwa. Bataata bakatusiya kanditanazyalwa. Mebo abamaama twakali kukkala abamakaapa mu Burg, kadolopo kasyoonto ikali mucisi icakali kwiitwa kuti German Democratic Republic, naa East Germany. Bantu banji bakali kusyoma kuti kunyina Leza, aboobo abalo bamukwasyi wangu mbobakali kusyoma oobo. Leza kunyina mbotwakali kumubona.

Nondakali kuyaabukomena, bakaapa bakali kundibikkila maano, aboobo ndakali kukkomana. Bakali kundituma kucita zintu zinji, mbuli kukkwela muzisamu akugonka mitabi. Mbuli mwana ndakali kukukkomanina kucita boobo. Buumi bwangu bwakali kabotu alimwi ndakalikkomene.

Nondakajisi myaka iili ciloba, kwakacitika cintu cimwi ciyoosya kapati. Nceciindi nondakali kutalika mwaka wabili kucikolo. Munzila kandiya kuŋanda, ndakatanta mucipo camagesi. Nondakasika mamita aali lusele kuya mujulu, ndakakwelwa amagesi alaanguzu cakuti ndakanetuka. Nondakabuka kucibbadela, tiindakali kukonzya kumvwa kuti naa ndilijisi maanza. Akapya kapati, cakuti akali kuyandika kukosolwa kutegwa bulowa butanyongani. Mbubwenya mbomukonzya kuyeeyela, bamaama abakaapa bakanyongana kapati. Nokuba boobo, akaambo kakuti ndakacili mwana, tiindakacimvwisya kusweekelwa maanza mbokwakali kuyoobujatikizya buumi bwangu.

Nondakazwa kucibbadela, ndakajokela kucikolo alimwi. Bana bakali kundifwubaazya, kunditonka-tonka, alimwi akundifwusa zintu nkaambo bakalizyi kuti tiindakali kukonzya kulikwabilila. Ndakali kucimwa kapati akaambo kalunya lwabo alimwi amajwi aabo aakunyansya. Mpoonya, ndakatolwa kucikolo cabalema icitegwa Birkenwerder School for the Disabled, icikolo kwalo bana balema nkobakali kukkala. Mbwaanga cikolo cakali kulamfwu akuŋanda, bamaama abakaapa tiibakali kukonzya kundiswaya. Ndakali kubabona buyo cikolo cajalwa. Myaka iili kkumi yakatobela, ndakali kukkala kakunyina bamaama alimwi abakaapa.

Ndakaiya kucita milimo minji kwiinda mukubelesya maulu. Kamuciyeeyela buyo mbocibede kulya kubelesya mfwoloko naa sipunu uujatilwa kutunwe twakumaulu! Munzila imwi ndakacikonzya kwiiya kucita boobo. Kunze lyaboobo, ndakaiya kucumba menyo aangu alimwi akukamuna masusu aangu kubelesya maulu. Mane buya ndakatalika kutambaika kubelesya  maulu aangu kuti kandibandika abantu. Maulu aangu akaba maanza aangu.

Mubukubusi bwangu, ndakali kuyandisya kubala makani aazyaano zyasayaansi zyakweezyeezya. Zimwi ziindi ndakali kweezyeezya kuba amaanza aakupanga aakonzya kundigwasya kucita zintu zyoonse. Nindakajisi myaka iili 14, ndakatalika kufweba. Ndakali kulimvwa kuti kwakali kundipa kulisyoma alimwi akulimvwa kuti ndakali buyo mbuli bantu boonse. Cakali mbuli kuti ndakali kwaamba kuti: ‘Inzya andime ndilakonzya kucita obuya. Bantu bafweba mbantu bapati, tacikwe makani naa balijisi maanza naa pe.’

Bunji bwaziindi ndakali kujata bubi alimwi ndakali kutola lubazu mumilimo yakugwasya banamaleya. Ndakaba umwi wamukabunga kategwa Free German Youth, kabunga kabakubusi ikakali kulanganizyigwa amfwulumende, alimwi ndakali mulembi, icuuno cakali kubonwa kuti cilisumpukide kapati abaabo bakali mukabunga aako. Alimwi ndakanjila mukakamu kabaimbi, ndakali kweema, alimwi akutola lubazu muzisobano zyabalema. Nondakamana kwiiya mulimo umwi kuzwa kumuntu umwi kwaciindi cili mbocibede, ndakatalika kubeleka akkampani iimwi mudolopo lyesu. Nondakali kuyaabukomena, bunji bwaziindi ndakali kusama maanza aakupanga nkaambo ndakali kuyanda kulibonya mbuli muntu uutalemene.

Buzuba bumwi nondakali kulindila citima kutegwa nduunke kumulimo, mwaalumi umwi wakandisikila. Wakandibuzya naa kuli nondakali kweezyeezya kuti naa Leza ulakonzya kwaapilusya alimwi maanza aangu oonse obilo. Ndakakatazyigwa kapati. Mubwini, ndakali kuyanda kuti maanza aangu apiluke, pele kuli ndime eeco cakali kumvwika mbuli kuti nkulota buyo alimwi tiicakali kukonzyeka! Mbwaanga ndakali muntu watakali kusyoma muli Leza, ndakalisinizyide ncobeni kuti Leza tako. Kuzwa buzuba oobo mwaalumi ooyo ndakatalika kumutantamuka.

Nokwakainda ciindi, mubelesima wakandilomba kuti ndikaswaye mukwasyi wakwe. Notwakali kunywa kkofi, bazyali bakwe bakatalika kwamba makani aajatikizya Leza—Jehova Leza. Eeci cakali ciindi cakusaanguna kumvwa kuti Leza ulijisi zina. (Intembauzyo 83:18) Nokuba boobo, mumoyo ndakali kukazya kanditi: ‘Takukonzyi kuba Leza, tacikwe makani naa zina lyakwe nguni. Aaba bantu ndilabatondezya kuti balilubide.’ Kandisinizyide kujatikizya mizeezo yangu, ndakazumina kuba amibandi yamu Bbaibbele. Cakandigambya ncakuti, ndakaalilwa kubatondezya kuti Leza tako.

Mizeezo njindakajisi yakuti Leza tako yakali kuyaabumana ciindi notwakali kulanga-langa businsimi bwamu Bbaibbele. Bunji bwazintu zyaakaambilalimwi Leza zyazuzikizyigwa, nokuba kuti zyakalembwa myaka minji yainda. Mumubandi umwi wamu Bbaibbele, twakeezyanisya zintu zicitika munyika abusinsimi bujanika mulugwalo lwa Matayo caandaano 24, Luka caandaano 21, alimwi a 2 Timoteyo caandaano 3. Mbubwenya buyo zitondezyo ziindene-indene mbozimugwasya dokota kusala busilisi bweelede kubulwazi mbwajisi muntu, zintu zyakacitika ziindene-indene zyaambidwe mubusinsimi zyakandigwasya kuzyiba kuti tupona “kumazuba aamamanino” kweelana ambolyaamba Bbaibbele. * Ndakagambwa kapati. Ndakalibonena kuzuzikizyigwa kwabusinsimi oobu.

 Ndakasyoma kuti nzyondakali kwiiya kakali kasimpe. Ndakatalika kupaila kuli Jehova Leza alimwi ndakacileka kufweba—nokuba kuti ndakali kufweba kapati kwamyaka iinda kukkumi. Ndakazumanana kwiiya Bbaibbele kwaciindi citandila kumwaka omwe. Mu April 27, 1986, ndakabbapatizyigwa cakusisikizya mucibbaafa, mbwaanga kuciindi eeco mulimo wa Bakamboni wakalikasyidwe mu East Germany.

Akaambo kakulesyegwa kwamulimo, twakali kubungana mutukamu tusyoonto mumaanda alimwi ndakazyi buyo basyomima basyoonto. Cakutayeeyela, ndakazumizyigwa abeendelezi kuunka ku West Germany, kwalo mulimo wa Bakamboni nkowatakalesyedwe. Ciindi cakusaanguna mubuumi bwangu, ndakajanika kumuswaangano mupati waamba zyamu Bbaibbele akubona bakwesu abacizyi banji. Eeci cakali cintu caalubazu.

Ciindi munyinza iwakali kwaandaanya cisi ca Germany uutegwa Berlin Wall nowakamwaigwa, kulesyegwa kwamulimo wa Bakamboni ba Jehova kwakamana. Kuzwa waawo, twakatalika kukomba Jehova Leza cakwaanguluka. Ndakali kuyanda kuyungizya ciindi ncondakali kubeleka mumulimo wakukambauka. Nokuba boobo, ndakali kuyoowa kuswaangana abantu mbonditazyi. Ndakali kulitenga akaambo kabulema alimwi akaambo kakuti ciindi cinji ndakakkala muŋanda yabalema nindakali mwana. Pele mu 1992, ndakasola kukambauka mawoola aali 60 mumwezi omwe. Ndakabeleka kabotu alimwi akujana lukkomano lunji. Aboobo ndakayeeya kucita boobo mwezi amwezi alimwi ndakacikonzya kucita oobo kwamyaka iibalilwa kuli yotatwe.

Lyoonse ndilayeeya majwi aamu Bbaibbele aakuti: “Ino nguni uutajisi nguzu pele mebo kandijisi nguzu?” (2 Bakorinto 11:29) Nokuba kuti ndili mulema, ndilayeeya alimwi ndilijisi ijwi. Aboobo ndilasolekesya kugwasya bantu. Akaambo kakuti tandijisi maanza, ndilabeetezyegwa bantu baalilwa kucita zintu zimwi. Ndilizyi mbocibede kuti koyandisisya kucita cintu cimwi pele kotacikonzyi kucicita. Ndilasola kubakulwaizya aabo balimvwa boobo. Kukulwaizya bantu munzila eeyi kundipa kukkomana.

Nokuba boobo, ziindi zimwi ndilazumina kuti ndilaakutyompwa. Mubwini tandiyandi kuba mulema. Ndilakonzya kulicitila milimo minji iicitwa abuzuba, pele itola ciindi cilamfwu, iyanda kusolekesya alimwi anguzu zinji kwiinda mboyeelede kucitwa. Majwi ngondiyeeya abuzuba ngakuti: “Muzintu zyoonse ndilijisi nguzu kwiinda muli yooyo uundipa nguzu.” (Bafilipi 4:13). Buzuba abuzuba Jehova ulandipa nguzu nzyondiyandika kutegwa ndicikonzye kubeleka milimo iicitwa abuzuba. Ndazyiba kuti Jehova tanaacileka kundigwasya. Nkakaambo kaako tandiyandi kuleka kumubelekela.

Jehova wandilongezya kwiinda mukundipa mukwasyi coolwe ncondatakajisi kubwana anondakali mukubusi. Ndilijisi mukaintu uuli kabotu wazina lya Elke, uujisi luyando alimwi alweetelelo. Kuyungizya waawo, Bakamboni ba Jehova banji baba bakwesu abacizyi bakumuuya—mukwasyi wanyika yoonse.

Alimwi ndilaumbulizyigwa acisyomezyo ca Leza ca Paradaiso, mwalo mwayakulengulula “zintu zyoonse kuti zibe zipya.” (Ciyubunuzyo 21:5) Ndilacimvwisya cisyomezyo eeci ciindi nondiyeeya ncaakacita Jesu naakali anyika. Muciindi cimwi wakaponya maanza apuutide alimwi wakaponya kutwi kwamwaalumi kwakakosodwe. (Matayo 12:13; Luka 22:50, 51) Zisyomezyo zya Jehova alimwi amaleele aa Jesu andipa kusinizya kuti ino-ino bulema bwangu buyakumana.

Nokuba boobo, cilongezyo cipati ncakuzyiba Jehova Leza. Waba taata alimwi mweenzuma, sikunduumbulizya alimwi anguzu zyangu. Ndilimvwa mbubwenya mbwaakalimvwa Mwami Davida, walo wakalemba kuti: “Jehova ninguzu zyangu . . . Wandigwasya, eelyo moyo wangu ulikondedwe.” (Intembauzyo 28:7) Aaka kasimpe ndiyanda kukajatisya mubuumi bwangu boonse. Ndakakatambula nokuba kuti tandijisi maanza.