UKUBA ungumzali, zange yakwehlela na enye yezi zinto zichazwe ekuqaleni? Xa zisenzeka awukhe uzibuze ukuba ungamqeqesha njani umntwana wakho? Ngaba kuphosakele ukuqeqesha abantwana bakho?

EBhayibhileni igama elithi ‘ukuqeqesha’ alithethi nto inye nelithi isohlwayo. Ukuqeqesha kuthetha ukuyalela, ukufundisa nokulungisa. Ukuqeqesha akunanto yakwenza nokumphatha kakubi okanye ngenkohlakalo loo mntu uqeqeshwayo.—IMizekeliso 4:1, 2.

Ingqeqesho yabazali inokufaniswa nokutyala. Umhlwayeli uqala ngokulungisa umhlaba, ankcenkceshele, ondle izityalo ezo, aze azikhusele kwizinambuzane eziyingozi nakukhula. Njengoko sikhula isityalo, umhlwayeli kusenokufuneka asithene ukuze sihlale sikhulela kuloo ndawo ayifunayo. Umhlwayeli uyayiqonda into yokuba ukuze isityalo sikhule somelele kufuneka iindlela ezithile zokusinceda. Ngokufanayo ke, nabazali bayabakhathalela abantwana babo ngeendlela ezininzi. Kodwa maxa wambi kuye kufuneke babaqeqeshe, njengaxa kuthenwa, abazali bafanele babalungise abantwana kwimikhwa emibi kwangethuba ukuze babancede bakhule kakuhle. Noko ke, ukuthena kufuna ukwenziwa ngenkathalo kungenjalo isityalo sinokubuna. Ngokufanayo abazali bafanele baqeqeshe ngothando.

UYehova uThixo umnini weBhayibhile uye wabamisela umzekelo omhle abazali kule nkalo. Ingqeqesho uYehova ayinika abakhonzi bakhe abathobelayo inempumelelo yaye inqweneleka kangangokuba  bade ‘bayithande ingqeqesho.’ (IMizekeliso 12:1) ‘Babamba ingqeqesho’ yaye ‘abayiyeki.’ (IMizekeliso 4:13) Njengomzali xa ulinganisa uThixo kwezi nkalo zintathu: (1) ukuba nothando, (2) ingqiqo (3) nokungaguquguquki, uya kumnceda umntwana wakho ayithande ingqeqesho.

Uthando lusisiseko nesizathu sokuba uThixo asiqeqeshe. IBhayibhile ithi: “Lowo amthandayo uYehova uyamohlwaya, njengoko noyise esenjenjalo kunyana akholiswayo nguye.” (IMizekeliso 3:12) Okunye, uYehova ‘unenceba nobabalo yaye uzeka kade umsindo.’ (Eksodus 34:6) Kungenxa yoko le nto uYehova engakhohlakalanga yaye engaxhaphazi. UYehova akawasebenzisi namazwi arhabaxa okanye asoloko egxeka okanye aphoxe, zinto ezo ‘ezinjengokuhlaba kwekrele.’—IMizekeliso 12:18.

Kucacile ukuba akukho lula ngabazali ukuxelisa umzekelo kaThixo ogqibeleleyo wokuzeyisa. Ngamanye amaxesha kubonakala kunzima ukuzeyisa, kodwa xa kufika loo maxesha, hlala ukhumbula ukuba ukohlwaya usemsindweni kungabangela ukuba wenze into oya kuzisola ngayo. Ngapha koko, xa usohlwaya unomsindo awusaqeqeshi kunoko uswele nje ukuzibamba.

Kwelinye icala, xa uqeqesha ngothando nokuzibamba uya kuba nemiphumo emihle. Makhe sive indlela uGeorge noNicole, abazali ekuthethwe ngabo ekuqaleni, abayisingatha ngayo le nyewe.

“Xa uJordan unyana wethu wade wafika, mna nomfazi wam sasivutha ngumsindo, kodwa saye sazibamba njengoko esichazela ukuba uvela phi. Ngenxa yokuba kwakusele kuhlwile kakhulu, sagqiba ekubeni sithethe ngale nto kwintsasa elandelayo. Sathandaza xa sisonke saza saya kulala. Ngengomso, sonke sasingenamsindo yaye sasikulungele ukuthetha kakuhle ukuze sifikelele intliziyo yonyana wethu. Wayithobela imithetho yethu yaye wayamkela nento yokuba kufuneka aziphathe kakuhle. Sivuyiswa kukuqonda ukuba ukukhawuleza ucaphuke akuzi namiphumo mihle. Xa samamelayo kuqala, izinto zalunga.”—uGeorge.

“Ndacaphuka xa ndabona into eyenziwe ngunyana wam kudade wabo. Kamva, xa ndandisele ndingenamsindo, ndayenza yacaca into yokuba ukubetha akulunganga yaye ndambonisa nendlela amenzakalise ngayo udade wabo. Le nto yamnceda kakhulu. Wacela uxolo kudade wabo waze wamanga.”—uNicole.

Ewe uqeqesho olusengqiqweni, naxa luquka ukohlwaya, lusoloko lunothando.

Uqeqesho lukaYehova lusoloko lusekelwe “kumlinganiselo ofanelekileyo.” (Yeremiya 30:11; 46:28) Uhlolisisa zonke iimeko nkqu nezo zingacacanga kakuhle. Bona ke abazali banokumxelisa njani? UStephen, naye okhe wavela ekuqaleni uthi: “Nangona yayisihlupha into yokuba uNatalie ephika umsesane awayewuthathile, sazama ukumcingela ngokomlinganiselo weminyaka yakhe.”

Kwanomyeni kaNicole, uRobert uye azame ngandlela zonke ukuhlolisisa iimeko. Xa abantwana bengathobeli, uye azibuze: ‘Ngaba le nto iza kuqhubeka isenzeka okanye yinto yanamhlanje kuphela? Ngaba lo mntwana udiniwe okanye akaziva mnandi? Ngaba le nto ithetha ukuba unenye ingxaki?’

Abazali abanengqiqo basoloko bekhumbula ukuba aba bantu basakhula. Umpostile uPawulos ongumKristu wayivuma le nto xa wabhala wathi: “Xa ndandilusana, ndandifudula ndithetha ngokosana, ndicinga ngokosana.” (1 Korinte 13:11) URobert uthi: “Eyona nto indincedayo ekukhuliseni abantwana kukuzikhumbuza ukuba nam ndakhe ndangumntwana.”

Kubalulekile ukuba unyaniseke kwizinto ozilindeleyo yaye kwangaxeshanye, ungamthetheleli umntwana xa izinto engazenzi ngendlela. Ngokuhlolisisa izinto umntwana wakho akwazi ukuzenza nezo angakwaziyo ukuzenza nezinye iimeko, uya kutsho uqiniseke ukuba umqeqesha kakuhle.

UMalaki 3:6 uthi: “NdinguYehova, anditshintshanga.” Abakhonzi bakaThixo bayayiqonda le nyaniso. Abantwana nabo bafuna ingqeqesho enjalo, engatshintshiyo. Ukuba ingqeqesho yakho ixhomekeka kwindlela ovuke ngayo ngaloo mini, oko kunokubabhida abantwana bangayazi eyona nto.

Khumbula ukuba uYesu wathi: “UEwe makabe nguEwe, uHayi wenu, abe nguHayi.” (Mateyu 5:37) Loo mazwi kanye abhekisa kubazali. Cinga kuqala, sukuthembisa ngesohlwayo, ujike ngoku ungakwenzi oko. Ukuba uthe kumntwana wakho xa esenza into ethile uza kumenza oku, qiniseka ukuba uyakwenza oko.

Unxibelelwano oluhle luyafuneka ukuze ingqeqesho ingabi yeguquguqukayo. URobert ucacisa athi: “Ukuba abantwana baye bandiqhatha ngokundenzisa into ebebenqandiwe ngunina kuyo ndiye ndirhoxe ukuze unkosikazi angaphoxeki.” Ukuba abazali abavumelani ngokusingatha ingxaki ethile, bafanele bathethe ngayo bebodwa baze bafikelele kwisigqibo esinye.

Ukuba ulandela umzekelo kaYehova wothando, ukuba nengqiqo nokungaguquguquki, unokuqiniseka ukuba baya kuncedakala abantwana bakho. Uthando onalo ngabantwana bakho luya kubanceda bakhule kakuhle, bekhathala yaye bengaguquguquki naxa sele bebadala. Njengokuba isitsho iBhayibhile: “Yiqeqeshe inkwenkwe ngokwendlela yayo; naxa indala ayisayi kuphambuka kuyo.”—IMizekeliso 22:6.