NKHANI YA PACHIKUTO

N’zotheka Kuthetsa Nkhanza za M’banja

YAMBANI

Makolo ake a Isabel * abwera kudzacheza kunyumba kwake. Isabel komanso mwamuna wake akusangalala limodzi ndi makolowo. Makolo ake a Isabel akuona kuti mwana wawo anakwatiwa ndi mwamuna wabwino kwambiri. Mwamunayo akuchita zinthu zosonyeza kuti amamukonda kwambiri Isabel.

Frank akuoneka kuti walusa kwambiri. Pofuna kuphwetsa mkwiyo wake akumenya mkazi wake, kumukoka tsitsi, kumugwira mutu n’kumamuwombetsa kukhoma. Zimenezi n’zimene Frank amachita akalusa.

ENA angaganize kuti anthu amene afotokozedwa mu zochitika ziwirizi ndi osiyana koma mungadabwe kudziwa kuti ndi anthu omweomwewo.

Zimene amachita Frank n’zofanana ndi zimene amuna ambiri ankhanza amachita. Iye amachita zinthu ngati munthu wabwino akakhala pagulu kapena akakhala ndi apongozi ake. Koma akakhala ndi mkazi wake, Frank amakhala munthu wankhanza.

Amuna ambiri amene amachitira nkhanza akazi awo amakhala kuti analeredwa ndi makolo amene ankachitirana nkhanza ndipo akakula amaganiza kuti ndi mmene anthu amakhalira komanso palibe cholakwika chilichonse. Koma kunena zoona, kuchitirana nkhanza m’banja n’kolakwika. N’chifukwa chake anthu ambiri amamva chisoni akamva kuti mwamuna wamenya mkazi wake.

Ngakhale zili choncho, anthu ambiri masiku ano akumachitirana nkhanza m’banja. Mwachitsanzo, ku United States, zotsatira za kafukufuku wina zinasonyeza kuti mphindi iliyonse, anthu pafupifupi 16 amaimba foni ku polisi kuti achitiridwa nkhanza m’banja. Vuto limeneli ndi lofala kwambiri ndipo likuchitika padziko lonse. Popeza si onse amene amanena akachitiridwa nkhanza, n’zachidziwikire kuti chiwerengero cha amene amachitiridwa nkhanza n’chokwera kuposa chimene ofufuza amapeza. *

Malipoti onena za nkhanza za m’banja amachititsa anthu kudzifunsa kuti: “Zimatheka bwanji kuti mwamuna afike pochitira nkhanza mkazi wake? Kodi n’zotheka kuthandiza amuna amene amamenya akazi awo kuti asiye khalidwe limeneli?”

A Mboni za Yehova, omwe amafalitsa magazini ino, amakhulupirira kuti malangizo a m’Baibulo angathandize amuna amene amachitira nkhanza akazi awo kusiya khalidwe limeneli. N’zoona kuti ndi zovuta kuti munthu asiye khalidwe limene analizolowera, koma n’zotheka. Malangizo a m’Baibulo athandiza anthu ambiri omwe anali ankhanza kusintha n’kukhala anthu achifundo komanso aulemu. (Akolose 3:8-10) Taonani zimene zinachitikira Troy ndi Valerie.

Kodi poyamba munkakhala bwanji ndi mwamuna wanu?

Valerie: Tsiku limene tinapanga chinkhoswe, madzulo ake, Troy anandimenya mbama moti nkhope yanga inali yotupa kwa mlungu umodzi. Kenako anandipepesa komanso kundilonjeza kuti sadzandimenyanso. Zimenezi n’zimene ankachita nthawi zonse, ankati akandimenya ankandipepesa n’kundiuza kuti sadzandimenyanso.

Troy: Ndinkangolusa zilizonse. Mkazi wanga akangochedwetsa chakudya ndinkalusa kwambiri moti tsiku lina ndinam’menya ndi mfuti. Tsiku lina ndinam’menya kwambiri moti ndinkaona ngati wafa. Tsiku lina ndinatenga mpeni n’kuuika pakhosi pa mwana wathu wamwamuna kwinaku ndikumuopseza mkazi wanga kuti ndipha mwanayo.

Valerie: Ndinkakhala mwamantha. Nthawi zina ndinkathawa panyumba ndipo ndinkabwerera ndikaona kuti Troy wakhuzumuka. Koma ndinkavutika mumtima kwambiri akandilankhula mawu achipongwe kuposa mmene ndinkamvera akandimenya.

Troy kodi unayamba liti kuchita ndewu?

Troy: Kuyambira ndili mwana. Bambo anga ankakonda kumenya mayi anga anafe tikuona. Banja litatha mayi anga anayamba kukhala ndi mwamuna wina amenenso ankawamenya kwambiri. Anagwiririranso mchemwali wanga ndi ine ndemwe ndipo anatsekeredwa m’ndende chifukwa cha zimenezi. Komabe ndikudziwa kuti zimenezi si zifukwa zodziikira kumbuyo kuti ndi zimene zinkandichititsa kuti ndikhale wandewu.

Valerie, n’chifukwa chiyani sunaganize zongothawa?

Valerie: Ndinkachita mantha kuti akhoza kundifufuza kuti andiphe komanso ndinkaopa kuti akhoza kupha makolo anga. Komanso ndinkaopa kukamunenera kupolisi chifukwa ndinkaona ngati zingowonjezera mavuto ena.

Ndiye munasintha bwanji?

Troy: Mkazi wanga anayamba kuphunzira Baibulo ndi Mboni za Yehova. Poyamba, ndinkachita nsanje akamacheza ndi a Mboniwo komanso ndinkafuna kumuteteza kuti asamagwirizane ndi kagulu kameneka. Zimenezi zinachititsa kuti ndizim’menya kwambiri Valerie komanso ndizidana kwambiri ndi Mboni za Yehova. Koma tsiku lina mwana wathu wa zaka zinayi, dzina lake Daniel, anadwala kwambiri ndipo anagonekedwa m’chipatala milungu itatu. Pa nthawi yonseyi, a Mboni za Yehova anatithandiza kwambiri. Anafika potenga mwana wathu wamkazi Desiree, amene anali ndi zaka 6 kuti azikhala naye. Tsiku lina, wa Mboni wina anadikirira Daniel kuchipatala n’cholinga chofuna kupatsa mpata Valerie kuti agoneko. Wa Mboniyu anachita zimenezi ngakhale kuti anali ndi tulo chifukwa anali atagwira ntchito usiku wonse. Chifundo chimene a Mboniwa anasonyeza chinandikhudza mtima kwambiri. Ndinazindikira kuti anthuwa ndi Akhristu enieni choncho ndinapempha munthu wina wa Mboni kuti azindiphunzitsa Baibulo. Nditayamba kuphunzira Baibulo, ndinazindikira zimene mwamuna ayenera kuchitira mkazi wake. Ndinasiyiratu kumumenya komanso kumulankhula mawu achipongwe ndipo patapita nthawi yochepa ndinakhala wa Mboni za Yehova.

Kodi ndi mfundo za m’Baibulo ziti zimene zinakuthandizani kuti musinthe?

Troy: Pali mfundo zambiri. Mwachitsanzo, lemba la 1 Petulo 3:7 linandiphunzitsa kuti ndiyenera kuchitira “ulemu” mkazi wanga. Lemba la Agalatiya 5:23 limatilimbikitsa kuti tikhale ‘ofatsa’ ndi ‘odziletsa.’ Pa Aefeso 4:31, Baibulo limaletsa “mawu achipongwe.” Ndipo lemba la Aheberi 4:13 limasonyeza kuti Mulungu amatha kuona zinthu zonse bwinobwino. Mulungu amaona zimene ndimachita ngakhale kuti anthu ena sangathe kuziona. Ndinazindikiranso kuti ndiyenera kusintha anthu amene ndinkacheza nawo chifukwa “kugwirizana ndi anthu oipa kumawononga makhalidwe abwino.” (1 Akorinto 15:33) Ndipotu anthu amene ndinkacheza nawo poyamba ankandilimbikitsa kuti ndizichitira nkhanza mkazi wanga. Iwo ankaona kuti mkazi amafunika kumumenya kuti azikulemekeza.

Panopa mwamuna wanu amakuchitirani zotani?

Valerie: Tsopano patha zaka 25 kuchokera pamene Troy anakhala wa Mboni za Yehova. Kuchokera nthawi imeneyi, iye amandikonda kwambiri, amandikomera mtima komanso amachita zinthu zosonyeza kuti amandiganizira.

Troy: N’zoona kuti madzi akatayika saoleka. Sindingathe kusintha zinthu zoipa zimene ndinachitira mkazi wanga ndipo ndimaona kuti ndinamulakwira kwambiri. Koma ndikuyembekezera nthawi imene lemba la Yesaya 65:17 lidzakwaniritsidwe. Nthawi imeneyo sindizidzakumbukiranso zinthu zoipa zimene ndinachitira mkazi wanga.

Kodi mungapereke malangizo otani kwa anthu amene amachitirana nkhanza m’banja?

Troy: Ngati mumamenya kapena kulalatira anthu a m’banja mwanu ndiye kuti mukufunika kuthandizidwa ndipo pali malangizo ambiri amene angakuthandizeni. Koma ineyo chimene chandithandiza kwambiri ndi kuphunzira Baibulo ndi a Mboni za Yehova komanso kupita kumisonkhano yawo. Zimenezi zathandiza kuti ndisiye kuchitira ena nkhanza.

Valerie: Sibwino kudziyerekezera ndi anthu ena kapena kutsatira malangizo a anthu omwe amadziona kuti amadziwa zinthu kwambiri. Ngakhale kuti si anthu onse amene zinthu zingawayendere bwino ngati mmene zilili ndi ine, ndimasangalala kuti sindinathetse banja ndipo panopa timakondana kwambiri.

KUTHETSA NKHANZA M’BANJA

Azibambo ambiri asintha chifukwa chotsatira malangizo a m’Baibulo

Baibulo limati: “Malemba onse anauziridwa ndi Mulungu, ndipo ndi opindulitsa pa kuphunzitsa, kudzudzula, kuwongola zinthu.” (2 Timoteyo 3:16) Anthu ambiri omwe poyamba ankachitira nkhanza anthu a m’banja mwawo ngati mmene zinalili ndi Troy, anasintha chifukwa chotsatira malangizo a m’Baibulo.

Ngati mukufuna kudziwa zambiri za mmene Baibulo lingathandizire banja lanu, onanani ndi a Mboni za Yehova a m’dera lanu kapena fufuzani pa Webusaiti ya www.mr1310.com.

^ ndime 3 Tasintha mayina ena m’nkhani ino.

^ ndime 8 N’zoona kuti palinso azimayi ena amene amachitira nkhanza amuna awo. Koma nthawi zambiri azimayi ndi amene amachitiridwa nkhanza m’banja.

N’chifukwa Chiyani Amakhalabe Ndi Mwamuna Wankhanza?

N’chifukwa chiyani akazi ena amapitirizabe kukhala ndi mwamuna wankhanza? Nthawi zambiri amaopa kuti akasiyana, mwamuna wawoyo akhoza kuwachitira zoipa. Amuna ena amaopseza akazi awo kuti awamenya kapena kuwapha akathetsa banja ndipo amuna ena achitapodi zimenezi.

Ena safuna kuthetsa banja chifukwa choopa kuti anzawo kapena abale awo aziwanena kapena sangakhulupirire kuti amawachitiradi nkhanza. Mwachitsanzo, Isabel amene tamutchula kumayambiriro kwa nkhani ino anasiyana ndi mwamuna wake chifukwa chomuchitira nkhanza. Iye ananena kuti: “Mchemwali wanga anandikalipira kwambiri ndipo anandiuza kuti ndibwerere kwa mwamuna wanga. Iye ankaona kuti mwamuna wanga sangachite zimenezo chifukwa ankamuona kuti ndi munthu wabwino. Anthu a m’mudzi mwathu ankandinyoza moti ndinangosamuka m’mudzimo limodzi ndi ana anga.”

Koma akazi ena amapitirizabe kukhala ndi mwamuna wankhanza chifukwa:

Amafuna kuti athandizane kulera ana.
Amaopa kuti sangakwanitse kudzisamalira komanso kusamalira ana awo.
Ena amadziimba mlandu kuti olakwa ndi iwowo.
Ena amachita manyazi kuulula kuti mwamuna wawo amawachitira nkhanza.
Ena amaganiza kuti mwamunayo adzasintha.

A Mboni za Yehova amakhulupirira zimene Baibulo limanena kuti munthu akhoza kuthetsa banja pokhapokha ngati wina wachita chigololo. (Mateyu 5:32) Komabe munthu akhoza kusankha kupatukana ndi mwamuna wake ngati amamuchitira nkhanza.