Ja ku birimwo

Ja ku rutonde rw’ibirimwo

ICIGWA CA 2

Kwicisha bugufi

Kwicisha bugufi

KWICISHA BUGUFI NI IKI?

Umuntu yicisha bugufi arubaha abandi. Ntiyishira hejuru y’abandi canke ngo yitege ko bamufata nk’uwudasanzwe. Ahubwo aritwararika abandi bivuye ku mutima kandi akagira ivyo abigiyeko.

Naho hari ababona ko kwicisha bugufi ari ubugoyagoye, ahubwo riho ni ubutwari. Mu vy’ukuri, umuntu yicisha bugufi ararinduka akemera amakosa yiwe, akemanga ko hari n’ivyo adashoboye.

KUBERA IKI KWICISHA BUGUFI BIHAMBAYE?

  • Birakomeza ubugenzi. Igitabu kimwe kivuga giti: “Muri rusangi, abantu bicisha bugufi biroroha cane ko baronka abagenzi.” Congerako kandi yuko abantu nk’abo “biborohera kuganiriza abandi no kwifatanya na bo.”

  • Birategura umwana wawe ku bwa kazoza. Umwana wawe niyiga kwicisha bugufi, bizomufasha ubu no muri kazoza, nk’akarorero igihe azoba ariko ararondera akazi. Umuganga yitwa Leonard Sax avuga ati: “Uwukiri muto yiyemera, ntabone ko hari ivyo adashoboye, biramugora iyo agiye gusaba akazi. Ariko uwitaho kumenya ivyipfuzo vy’uwugomba kumuha akazi, wewe biroroha ko akaronka.” *

INGENE WOKWIGISHA UMWANA WAWE KWICISHA BUGUFI

Mufashe kutiyumvira ko ari agakomeye.

ICO BIBILIYA IVUGA: “Nimba hari uwiyumvira ko hari ico ari kandi ari ubusa, aba ariko arahenda umuzirikanyi wiwe.”​—Abagalatiya 6:3.

  • Niwirinde kumubwira ivyiyumviro bitari vyo. Kumubwira ngo “Indoto zawe zose zirashobora kuranguka” canke ngo “Urashobora kuba ico wipfuza cose” womengo ni ukumutera intege, ariko rero si ko vyama bigenda mu buzima. Umwana wawe azokwererwa niyishingira imigambi ashoboye, kandi akagira akigoro ko kuyishikako.

  • Mukeze ku bintu bitomoye. Kubwira gusa umwana wawe ngo uri “igitangaza” ntibimufasha kwicisha bugufi. Mubwire udomako ico ushima.

  • Mushingire akarimbi mu vyo gukoresha ubuhinga bwa none. Akenshi ku mbuga ngurukanabumenyi usanga abantu bihaya, bakabwira abandi ivyo bashoboye gukora be n’ivyo bashitseko, ivyo na vyo bikaba binyuranye cane n’ukwicisha bugufi.

  • Muremeshe kwihutira gusaba imbabazi. Fasha umwana wawe kubona aho yihenze kandi ace asaba imbabazi.

Muremeshe gushima.

ICO BIBILIYA IVUGA: “Mwerekane ko mushima.”​—Abakolosayi 3:15.

  • Gushima ivyaremwe. Abana barakwiye kwiga guha agaciro ivyaremwe vyose, kandi bagatahura ko tubikeneye kugira tubeho. Turakeneye umwuka duhumeka, amazi tunywa, n’imfungurwa dufungura. Koresha ubwo burorero kugira ngo utume abana bawe barushiriza guha agaciro ibintu Imana yaremeye bongere babitangarire.

  • Gushima abantu. Ibutsa umwana wawe ko hari ivyo abandi bamurusha, ko rero aho kubagirira ishari akwiye kugira ivyo abigiyeko.

  • Mwigishe gushima. Mwigishe kuvuga ngo “urakoze,” atari ku munwa gusa mugabo bivuye ku mutima. Umutima wo gukenguruka bivugwa ko ari ryo shingiro ryo kwicisha bugufi.

Mwigishe akamaro ko gukorera abandi.

ICO BIBILIYA IVUGA: “Mwiyumvir[e] mwiyoroheje mu muzirikanyi yuko abandi babaruta; umwe wese ubwiwe ntagume araba ivyiwe bwite gusa, ariko arabe n’ivy’abandi.”​—Abafilipi 2:3, 4.

  • Mushinge udukorwa two muhira. Kudashinga umwana udukorwa two muhira ni nko kumubwira uti: ‘Ibi wewe urabirengeye!’ Akwiye kubanza gukora udukorwa two muhira imbere y’uko aja gukina. Mwereke ingene gukora utwo dukorwa bifasha abandi, bigatuma bahimbarwa kandi bakamwubaha.

  • Mubwire ko gukorera abandi ari vyiza. Gukorera abandi bizofasha umwana wawe kuba umuntu yitwararika ibintu. Muremeshe rero kurondera kumenya abakeneye gufashwa. Nimuganire ivyo yokora kugira abafashe. Mukeze igihe cose abafashije kandi umushigikire.

^ ing. 8 Vyakuwe mu gitabu The Collapse of Parenting.