BANTFU LABASHA BAYABUTA
Ngibukeka Kanjani?
Kungani kufanele ube nendzaba ngaloko lokugcokako? Ngobe timphahla lotigcokako tisho lokutsite ngawe. Takho titsini ngawe?
Emaphutsa lamatsatfu lamakhulu ngefashini nekutsi ungawabalekela njani
Liphutsa #1: Kuvumela loko lokubona ku-tv nakutekuchumana kutsintse indlela logcoka ngayo.
Theresa losemusha utsi: “Ngaletinye tikhatsi ngikhangwa timphahla letisesitayeleni ngenca yekutsi sengitibone tikhangiswa kanyenti. Nangabe ingcondvo yakho igcwele titfombe tebantfu labagcoke intfo lefanako, kungaba lukhuni kutsi ungahambisani nabo.”
Akusiwo ematfombatane kuphela latsintfwa tintfo letikhangiswako. Incwadzi i-The Everything Guide to Raising Adolescent Boys itsi: “Bafana bayayitsandza nabo ifashini. Batsengisi betama kubakhanga basesebancane.”
Indlela lekahle: LiBhayibheli litsi: “Umuntfu lote lwati wetsemba konkhe lakuvako, kodvwa lohlakaniphile uyacabangisisa ngako konkhe lakwentako.” (Taga 14:15) Ngekuvumelana nalesimiso, fundza kuhlolisisa loko lokubona kukhangiswa. Sibonelo nje, nawubona timphahla letikhangiswa ngekutsi “tikufashini,” “ti-hot,” nobe “ti-sexy,” tibute:
‘Ngubani mbamba lozuzako nangilandzela lefashini?’
‘Titangenta ngibonakale ngatsi ngiphila luphi luhlobo lwemphilo?’
‘Lolohlobo lwemphilo lusho loko lengingiko mbamba yini naloko lengikukholelwako?’
Longakwenta ngefashini: Bukisisa tinhlelo tekukhangisa timphahla kanye naletinye tekuchumana letikhuluma kakhulu ngefashini, liviki linye nje. Tikhutsata luphi luhlobo lwemphilo? Ikhona yini imilayeto lenganakeki lekwenta utive shengatsi uyadzinga kulandzela leyo fashini? Karen losemusha utsi: “Kucindzetela kakhulu kufuna kubukeka ukahle, ugcoke kahle kanye nekufuna kuveta umtimba wakho lome kahle. Bakhangisi labakwatiko loko, kumelula kutsi bakusebentise kubantfu labasha.”
Liphutsa #2: Kufuna kubukeka ngendlela labanye lababukeka ngayo.
Manuel losemusha utsi: “Nangabe luhlobo lolutsite lwemphahla lusesitayeleni, bantfu labanyenti batawufuna kugcoka lolohlobo lwemphahla. Nawungalugcoki, bantfu bakubukela phansi.” Anna losemusha naye uyavuma utsi: “Lokubaluleke kakhulu kwemukelwa ngulabanye hhayi lefashini ngekwayo.”
Indlela lekahle: LiBhayibheli litsi: “Yekelani kufana nebantfu balelive.” (KubaseRoma 12:2) Ngekuvumelana naleseluleko, buka timphahla takho bese uyatibuta:
‘Yini mbamba lengenta ngifune kugcoka loluhlobo lolu lwetimphahla?’
‘Kubaluleke ngani kimi kugcoka timphahla letentiwe bantfu nobe tinkapane letidvumile?’
‘Ngetama kujabulisa bantfu yini ngetimphahla lengitigcokako?’
Longakwenta ngefashini: Kunekubuka tinhlangotsi letimbili nje kuphela, lokungukutsi kudvumile (kutsandvwa bantfu labanyenti) nobe sekuphumile esitayeleni (bantfu abasakufuni), ungabuka neluhlangotsi lwesitsatfu: kutetsemba nekukhululeka. Nawukhululeki futsi utetsemba ngeke uze ukhatseteke ngekufuna kwemukelwa bantfu.
Liphutsa #3: Kucabanga kutsi ‘nayi-sexy, ikahle kakhulu.’
Intfombatane lokutsiwa nguJennifer iyavuma, itsi: “Ecinisweni, ngaletinye tikhatsi uyaye ulingeke kutsi ufune kugcoka lokufisha nobe lokukubamba kakhulu nobe lokuveta umtimba.”
Indlela lekahle: LiBhayibheli litsi: “Kutihlobisa kwenu akungabi kwangaphandle . . . kodvwa akube nguloko lokusenhlitiyweni.” (1 Phetro 3:3, 4) Ngekuvumelana naleseluleko, cabanga kutsi yini lekwenta utsandzeke, yindlela logcoke ngayo ledvonsa emehlo ebantfu yini nobe buntfu lobuhle.
Longakwenta ngefashini: ‘Ifashini lencono’ kakhulu longayigcoka kuzitsa. Kuliciniso kutsi leli akusilo ligama lelivamile lamuhla, kodvwa licabange ngalendlela:
Wake wacoca yini nemuntfu lokhulumela-futsi, aphindze atigcamise yena? Lokubuhlungu kutsi kungenteka lomuntfu akati kutsi uyakudzina.
Njengekucoca, indlela logcoka ngayo ingenta kutsi kunakwe wena kakhulu, lokuyintfo leyenta labanye bakubalekele
Nawungakagcoki ngesizotsa, ufana naloyo muntfu. Indlela logcoke ngayo ungatsi itsi ‘ngicela ningibuke,’ loko kungakwenta ubonakale ungatetsembi, uticabangela wena kuphela nobe kokubili. Kungaphindze kubonakale shengatsi ufuna kunakwa nguwo wonkhe muntfu, ngisho nebantfu labakabi.
Kunekutsi ukhangise ngentfo longayitsengisi, asewetame kuzitsa. Monica losemusha utsi: “Kuzitsa akusho kutsi sekufanele ugcoke njengagogo wakho. Kumane nje kusho kutsi uyatihlonipha wena kanye nalabanye.”
Lokunye Longatsandza Kukuhlola
LOKUSHIWO BONTSANGA
Yini Lengenta Ngikhatsateke Kangaka Ngendlela Lengibukeka Ngayo?
Tfola kutsi ungayilawula njani indlela lotiva ngayo.
